11/4 - Where Should I Pour My Own Beer?
Probably not at a bar.
Turkey News
-Avian flu and supply chain issues will make turkey expensive and difficult to find this Holiday season. This should upset no one. Thanksgiving turkey is terrible. We should be carving meatloaf.
-Long time readers: I hear you. The Busch Turkey Broth review is coming. Unfortunately, this week our canine broth critic was injured in a tennis ball accident. Production is scheduled to resume this weekend.
Where Should I Pour My Own Beer?
Self-serve beer taps could become one of the greatest advancements of 21st century beer drinking technology, so long as they disappear from actual bars.
A self-serve beer tap transfers beer pouring duties from bartender to customer. To pour a beer, customers first set up a proxy payment card with the bar. Customers then insert their payment card into the beer tap of their choosing and finally pour as much Triple Hopped Dank Berry Unicorn Magic IPA as their heart desires.
The first self-serve beer taps were designed by customers tired of having to box-out over-served credit card flailing bozos every time they wanted to order a beer at a crowded bar. These initial designs spun off into the two companies leading the self-serve beer tap industry: PourMyBeer and iPourIt. Today, both companies market their technology as a way for bars to increase sales and reduce labor costs.
Put plainly: self-serve beer taps replace bartenders. PourMyBeer boasts that its system reduces a bar’s staff by 20%. While any shrewd business owner would jump at a 20% labor reduction, a good bar is more than a healthy bottom line.
At a bar, we want to connect with people. If going to a bar was merely a drinking exercise, no one would go. Drinks at home are cheaper and easier. To connect with others you need to feel human, and the bartender-customer interaction is how a bar makes a customer feel like more than a credit card number.
A self-serve tap system at a bar is like a restaurant with iPads instead of waiters: unnervingly hollow.
However, there are venues besides bars that serve beer: bowling alleys, arcades, concert halls, etc. At these places - where beer is an added touch, but not the main attraction - self-serve systems are perfectly useful. When you’ve thrown three straight gutter balls and your friends are cackling in your face, a bartender won’t need to make you feel any more human - you just want a beer.
Unsurprisingly, self-serve tap systems are making their way into activity based venues. PourMyBeer already deploys its system at casinos, offices, arcades, and even grocery stores. Starting next season, the New England Patriots will offer self-serve taps at select parts of its stadium.
To me, the real value of self-serve tap systems is not in replacing bartenders, but rather creating beer drinking opportunities in places where a bartender would never want to work.
Here are are three new places where self-serve taps make sense:
Anywhere A Four Year Old Has A Birthday Party
Building off the success of arcades and bowling alleys, I’d like to suggest a new commercial building code: if there’s a ball pit, laser tag arena, or ticket based economy in any building, then that building must have self-serve taps. When I eventually find myself around screaming toddlers and/or at a Whimsical Corporate Team-Building Event, I’ll want a fourth beer sans bartender judgment.
The Aritzia Boyfriend Section
Throw a few taps on top of that IKEA table and these lads will start thinking they too could fit into the Emma Chamberlain Puffer Jacket. For payment, Aritzia could launch a loyalty credit card and have that serve as the tap’s proxy card.
Because I’m a good boyfriend, I like shopping. But, I think I’d like shopping even more if cold beers were present. Your move, Aritzia.
Ski Lodges
I put this last to maintain relatability.
Ski resorts have gone #digital. Instead of paper lift tickets, participating guests are given scannable cards. If ski resorts could somehow embed the proxy payment card into the scannable lift card, resorts could set up self-serve taps without significantly changing their onboarding process. Like a concert venue, you’d simply ID mountain guests upon entry.
In sum, the self-serve tap is a well intentioned technology that has yet to realize its true value. With time, self-service systems will migrate away from traditional bars and into places where we had no idea a beer was so needed.
If you have any ideas on where self-serve taps would be best deployed, please let me know.
As always thank you so much for reading. This remains my favorite part of the week, every week. I love each and every one of you. If you enjoy this, consider sharing it with a friend. Again, thank you, and have an amazing weekend.