Cousin Nell here again, hi hello! Honored to be back here to share my appeal for you all to be throwing more birthday parties, along with some (pretty NYC specific) guidance on how to do so.
For some context, I am the friend who always does something for my birthday. Blame my star sign, my extroverted nature, or just the fact that I love a good party. Whatever the case may be, over my 8 years of living here I've successfully corralled my friends to an apres ski themed house party, dance on top of booths with strangers, dress in 70s Vegas looks, and most recently, to join me in a tequila-fueled takeover of the new Mexican restaurant on my block. It's never a bad time. It's also not the easiest thing in the world, especially here. So, why bother?
I believe there's beauty in creating a sense of occasion. Don't forget those sweatpant-laden dark ages not so long ago. The sad zoom birthday hangs, the unquenchable thirst for a reason to leave your apartment, put on a lewk and see people you love, or even just kind of like. Don't forget what we've overcome, people.
People like having plans. It's something to look forward to for you and your friends that gets you outside of your typical weekend schedule and regular spots. Shake things up and bring your worlds together.
You will look back on your birthday party as a snapshot of your life in that exact moment. Who were you hanging out with? Where did you think was cool, and what the hell were you wearing? Is that a vodka redbull I spy you drinking? You were dating WHO? Call me sentimental but that shit is fun to look back on in years to come. If not, can't it all become a bit blurry?
Cool so now that you're convinced, but still doubtful because it sounds daunting and stressful, let me lay out a few paths for you:
`1. The birthday dinner:
Maybe you're looking to go a little more low key, or the thought of having to introduce friends from different circles gives you hives. The birthday dinner party is for you. And no, you're not cooking or hosting. You're finding a fun lil spot that you will call 3+ weeks in advance to scope out the options for a big group. Whether it's a prix fixe price or just going to be a big group order, keep price in mind. Don't be the friend that assumes everyone wants to drop their paycheck on your dinner. Unless of course, you're spotting the tab, in which case, can I come? IMO, vibe is more important than food, or restaurant hype. And location is key, because where are you headed for the final final?
HOT TAKE: Birthday brunches aren't fun unless they're a wholesome family or parental obligation.
2. The bar hang:
Let's goooo. If you live in New York and want to get together with more than 10x friends, or your idea of birthday fun involves being a night owl, dancing, vibing, cocktails you're not making, or just being out in the big wide world, this one's for you. There are a lot of ways you can win at a bar birthday party, and some absolute ways to lose. Those include: not planning in advance, rolling up to a bar that has no idea you or your crew are coming, picking somewhere too small (unless you're taking it over) or somewhere too sceney. The sweet spot is finding somewhere you either have a connection to/friendly vibe with, or have sussed out in advance. Reserve at least one table/area to be home base. Don't get f*cked on an insane bar minimum, you will literally pay for it. Assume about the price of 3x drinks per person as a realistic minimum.
HOT TAKE: Daytime bar parties are only fun in the daytime if you can be outside. Otherwise they're a little... sad.
3. The park or rooftop hang:
This one is for my late spring, summer or early fall bebes. As a Thanksgiving baby myself, this hasn't been in the cards for me and I'm not trying to play host in my apartment for my own birthday BUT if you have a rooftop or backyard, or want to post up in your local park for a more low-key. do-drop-in style birthday, I see you, I hear you, I respect you. Just know you're the builder. You're bringing the party, or tasking some of your trusted associates or lovers with bringing decorations, activities, tunes, snacks n bevvies, and of course, the best of vibes. It's a DIY approach, but if that's your bag baby by all means get out there!
I've been fortunate to attend some of Nell's bashes and she knows what she talking about! Can't wait to put some of her suggested gems into action.